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Using the nuclear option every day!

Morton and Digeri's ICQ Away Message collection

ICQ is an Internet messaging tool that allows you to maintain a list of contacts, see who is online at any time and send them messages. You can download this program and check it out at the ICQ home page.

One ICQ feature lets you indicate to everyone else when you're busy or unavailable. It also allows you to type in a message to let others know what you're doing or why you're not available. Instead of the default "away" messages or the same old "brb" or "dinner" messages, Digeri and I started playing around with amusing, profound and/or confusing messages. So it went back and forth and we got a bit carried away. The result is the collection of messages you see below.

Morton's Away Messages

  • In moments of quiet desperation, I am quiet and desperate.
  • When all's said and done, there's nothing left to say or do.
  • I think it would be better in a waffle cone.
  • STOP THE MUSIC!! I WANT TO GET OFF!!!
  • I'm not just leering at scantily clad women, you know. I'm working!
  • It warms the cockles of my heart. What are cockles doing in your heart?
  • Fighting run-on sentences and wordiness, his next move did Mr. Grammar ponder, while he took a walk outside looking for cognition nor did he find truffles, Sunday, far be it for me to write cliches such as was the fashion at the time, that I like.
  • Why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?

    Cypher, "The Matrix"

  • A quick fix for your problem areas.

    Radio ad for a certain health product.

  • New! Instant water! Just add water.
  • Yikes! They're sharing my information with companies whose products and services may be of interest to me!!!
  • Only a scientist would go to bed with a pH tester.

    I typed that in a chat room before noticing the double entendre. :)
  • Life is for the living.

    John Cage, "Ally McBeal"

  • I know why you hardly sleep... why you stay up late at night by your computer...

    Trinity, "The Matrix". Probably not an exact quote.

  • After many years of toil in the fields, it's nice to finally be able to take a step back and ask yourself... what exactly is couscous anyway?
  • The crime's so bad that they even Mug root beer!
  • All differences aside, an apple is exactly the same as a rhinoceros.
  • What IS this high res land?

    7-Eleven commercial

  • Don't be surprised if sometime, somewhere, someone comes up to you and says "Smile! You're on ICQ!"

    Commemorating the passing of Alan Funt of Candid Camera fame.

  • This is the down stairs. I need the up stairs!
  • I have a tutu on. Watch me dance.

    Xoom.com commercial

  • I sat down and I thought about it... and I thought about it... and I wrote this "away" message.

Digeri's Away Messages

  • moon fragment held tide rise seagull cry
  • In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.
  • On a hot summer night ... would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
  • yo quiero el chihuahua
  • there IS a fear factory in this division
  • you got to take the elevator to the mezzanine
  • und dann wird er wie ein Hund
  • scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job
  • The answer is out there ... it's the question that drives us.

    Trinity, "Matrix"

  • I tell you what ... WOW!

    Bartok, "Anastasia"

  • The dark continent is no place for an addict ...

    Mr. Peterman, "Seinfeld"

  • Beauty is in the eye of ME, who is doing the beholding

    Don Karnage

  • young plushies will be rebels

The ICQ "flower" and "away" icons are © ICQ LLC.